Often when I feel upset or in emotional disarray, it pleases me to clean the house. It is something I have control over, so it helps counterbalance all the areas of life where I feel it is running amuck. A clean house makes me feel better. It satisfies my ego’s desire to have everything in order. Once the house is cleaned, I feel more aligned and frankly, more in control of life. It’s not that what was bothering me has been dissolved, but rather I feel stronger and more able to cope. I do intentions while cleaning: with every floor I sweep, may the cobwebs be swept from my mind for the benefit of all mankind; with every piece I dust, may unused talents be dusted off and revealed to me for higher use. These statements become my focus and help clear my energy field.
Yesterday my energy felt all pulled in. Things have not been going the way I wanted them to. I thought I was handling things well, keeping track of my mental thoughts to catch negativity, replacing the negative with the positive, trusting the Universe that the best will unfold. You know, all the stuff we are supposed to be doing to be spiritually aligned.
I decided to clean the house. In February we had gotten new carpet, nice and thick. We love walking on it barefoot because it feels so soft and silky. Last year we had gotten a new vacuum cleaner. With the new carpet, we had to set it up on high so it would roll over the fibers and clean well. We’ve been vacuuming with no problems for four months now.
All of a sudden, the vacuum would not roll over the carpet. I was leaning into it with my weight and could not get it to move. My husband and I got out the manual and read the requisite troubleshooting section. We did everything it said to do: cleaned out the hose, opened various compartments, and looked at the roller for obstructions. Damn! There was no apparent reason why the thing would not work.
Frustration set in. I took the vacuum over to Sears where we bought it. I explained what was going on and was asked a series of questions-did you do this? Did you do that? Yes, yes, we tried all of that. Sears did not have any thick carpet to test it on. There was only a measly thin area rug in the back “Employees Only” section. Of course, the vacuum worked on that. The manager told me there was no point in leaving them the vacuum as it was working in the store. Fuming, I loaded the thing up into the truck again and drove home.
Frustration mounted. I wanted to scream. This was becoming an all-day event. I had other things to do! I had much more important items on my list, like meditating and being the spiritual person I know I am!
I remembered that we had a carpet remnant. What if I took it over to Sears and proved to them that the vacuum would not work? I was now on a mission to prove them wrong. My husband reminded me that we’d need the same thick pad too, to properly replicate our situation in the Sears store. OK, another thing to do to draw this saga out. I called the carpet installers. They generously offered to cut me a piece of pad to use for my demonstration and I could pick it up at the store after 3 pm. Off I went, now loaded with the vacuum for the second time, my Sears receipt, and the carpet remnant. I picked up the pad and on the way over to Sears for the second time, I prayed, please don’t let the vacuum still work once I was in the store! Please let it fail! My ego was at stake!
I unloaded all of my items in the Sears parking lot and toted them into the store. The staff was watching and saying, I am sure, “Here comes that unbalanced woman with the vacuum again.” To my credit, I was very nice and did not take my frustration out on them. They understood that the situation was triggering me and wanted to find the problem so they could feel like they had assisted a customer.
We set up the demonstration and two sales people watched as I tried to vacuum the rug. Ah-it did not work! Success, in a perverted sort of way. Who cheers for their vacuum cleaner to not work?
It took half of my Saturday, but the vacuum cleaner is now in the repair shop at Sears. Some small satisfaction was gleaned from that….but there was lingering disarray within. I needed to take time to integrate the spiritual lesson before me.
One of the ways of slowing life down and integrating is taking greater care of each moment. It’s not what did you do today, but how did you do it? Focus on what’s right in front of you and give it your undivided attention. I was trying to get the cleaning done so I could get to other items on my list that I deemed to be more important. In reality, the vacuum situation was the important item of the day. It had to do with how I am moving in the world. The vacuum cleaner was stuck, wouldn’t move. Hah-what a metaphor! That is exactly how I have been feeling. I feel stuck in my situation, things aren’t moving forward in the way my mind and ego have dictated to the Universe. I need to slow down and allow life to deliver its magic to me. The old paradigm is forcing things to happen, doing things to manipulate the energy so it flows the way you think it should. The vacuum cleaner stopped me in my tracks.
Another revelation was the old belief that when we are out of balance, we push too hard and try too hard. This creates frustration and disappointment. The Truth is, things don’t cause frustration. They are outcomes you experience by how out of harmony you are. Frustration and disappointment were already present in my field. I subconsciously manifested the circumstance to help me become aware of how frustrated and disappointed I was. Before the event (vacuum not working) the feelings were already there and the event appeared outside myself to get me to look at it. As within, so without, was the reality I was living. It is NOT that something happens to you and you get frustrated. It’s that you don’t know how out of sync you are and you create an event so you become aware.
As counterintuitive as it sounds, be thankful for the reminder of how unintentionally out of synch you are. Stop, breathe and regroup.
I gave up getting my way today. Life will give me everything I want and more. First I must come into harmony and slow down. I must focus on the choices I can make to be in harmony with what’s already here, even if it’s the lowly vacuum cleaner. When I am in perfect alignment, I won’t need to make a plan for my life, it’ll be done for me.
Thank you to my carpet and vacuum cleaner. Who said the gods have to be coming to you in golden robes and white light?